How to Make an American Flag Taco Dip

Drop both blocks of cream cheese into a large mixing bowl. Pour the full jar of salsa over the top, scrape in the sour cream tub, dump the shredded Mexican cheese, and add about half a cup of diced green onions. The salsa adds the heat and the green onions add a fresh bite, so don't skip them even if they sound optional. Watch at 0:30.

Run the hand mixer through the bowl on medium speed for about a minute. You're looking for an even, slightly fluffy texture with no visible white streaks of cream cheese. Watch at 1:05. If you don't own a hand mixer, a sturdy rubber spatula and a few minutes of arm work gets you most of the way there.

Scrape the whole bowl into a 9x13 baking dish or any roughly rectangular serving platter. Push the mixture out to the corners with a spatula and smooth the top so it sits in an even layer about half an inch thick. Watch at 1:20. A flat top makes the flag pattern in step five look sharp instead of bumpy.

Dice the red bell pepper small and halve a handful of red grape tomatoes for the red stripes. Shred the Monterey Jack block on the large holes of a box grater for the white stripes. Press a small star cookie cutter into a thicker slice of the Monterey Jack and pop out five little cheese stars for the blue field. Watch at 2:05. Crush a handful of blue corn chips into rough quarter-inch pieces for the blue corner. Keep the four piles separate so you can grab them in order during assembly.

Mark the blue corner first. Spread the crushed blue chips into a rectangle in the upper-left third of the pan, covering roughly the top-left third in height. Arrange the five cheese stars across the blue field. Now build the stripes across the rest. Start with red at the top edge of the empty area, then white, then red, alternating until you reach the bottom. Use the grape tomatoes and diced peppers together for the red stripes and the shredded Monterey Jack for the white ones. Watch at 2:45. Refrigerate uncovered for at least 30 minutes before serving so the toppings settle.