How to Make a Scarecrow

Get everything in one place before you start. You want old clothes, hemp twine, a bale of straw, a sewn burlap bag for the head, and two bamboo poles - one about seven foot for the body, one about four foot for the arms.

Pick a button-up shirt if you have one, and go a size or two bigger than you think. You will be feeding it over a rigid crosspiece, and a pullover turns that into a wrestling match.

Pack straw into a length of netting to form each arm. Push it in firmly and keep going until the tube holds its own shape - a loosely packed arm sags at the elbow within a week.

Not using netting? Rubber-band the shirt cuffs shut and stuff straw straight down the sleeves instead. Same result, more patience required.

Thread a stuffed arm onto each end of the four foot pole. Work the netting along the bamboo until both sides sit evenly and you have bare pole left in the middle for the lashing.

Cut yourself five or six feet of twine. About six inches down from the top of the seven foot pole, make two loops in the same direction, slip one behind the other, and drop the pair over the top of the pole.

Pull it snug. That is a clove hitch, and it is the anchor everything else hangs off.

Lay the arm pole across the tall one and start wrapping. Take the twine under, over, under, over the crosspiece three or four times.

Then change direction and wrap between the two poles, the same three or four times. Those wraps between the poles are what actually pull the joint tight - the ones over the top just hold position.

Make an X across the join with the last of the twine, then slip the loose end under the cross to lock it off. No knot needed.

Grab both arms and give them a twist. If the crosspiece moves at all, unwrap and add another round of wraps between the poles before you dress him.

Feed one sleeve over an arm, then the other, and button the shirt up the front. This is where the oversized button-up earns its place.

Tie off the bottom of each trouser leg with twine so the straw cannot fall out the ankles, then pack both legs full.

Once they are stuffed, lash the waistband to the frame. The trousers are carrying real weight now, so use twine rather than trusting the fit.

Cut two lengths of twine, three to four feet depending on how tall your scarecrow is. Run them from the front belt loops, up over the crosspiece, and down to the back belt loops - exactly like suspenders.

Skip this and the trousers slide down the pole the first time the wind gets under the shirt.

Lean him against a wheelbarrow or a fence so he stays upright while you work. Push handfuls of straw in at the waist and up through the shirt until his chest fills out.

The pole will stick out the back at the bottom. Leave it. That is the bit you drive into the ground.

Turn the sewn burlap bag inside out so the seams sit on the inside, then draw a face on it with waterproof paint markers.

Waterproof is not a suggestion here. An ordinary marker will run down his front in the first rain and there is no getting it back out of burlap. Stuff the bag with straw and cinch the bottom with twine.

Push the head down onto the top of the pole so it sits tight against the shoulders. Add a straw hat, tie on a bandana, and knot a few strips of bird scare tape to the arms if you have it - the flash and rattle does more work than the scarecrow does.

Name him. Then stand him where the birds have been winning.